Luckily I have my flashdrive, or the Shittiest excuse ever.

I know I came up with some bullshit in my day, but this student takes the cake. Fuck taking the cake, he stole that bitch, and sold it on Ebay.

shitmystudentswrite:

Please excuse my absence today. My former roommate fell off a balcony and died. My current roommate’s mother died and one of my good buddies from home his brother killed himself. This all happened yesterday. Luckily I have my flashdrive with me.

What to give myself when I graduate.

I was talking to a friend about a gift for myself after the third installment of education. They could not sway me to purchase an iPad when I already have an iPhone. I would purchase a Google Nexus 7 tablet for variety. Either way, I dont’ know what I want to get myself for a graduation gift, but I will be thinking of ideas. Hmmm, wonder if those self-driving cars will be available. *beep beep* LOL

Fake Heinz Ketchup Blows Up.

I might just be the biggest fan of Ketchup in the world. It has its place on hotdogs, burgers, and maybe as an additive to other stuff in recipes, so if I purchase the stuff, I’d like to be sure that I’m getting the true brand. I’m a Heinz guy, and when I saw this, I immediately investigated my refrigerator for counterfeit goodness.

Officials discovered the fake ketchup factory after tenants complained about flies and rotten odors coming from another part of the 7,000-square-foot warehouse in Dover, N.J. They found thousands of plastic bottles labeled Heinz ketchup, many of which had exploded after being abandoned in the hot building.

What jackass thought that purchasing Heinz and rebottling it would be a profitable enterprise? I mean, hasn’t’ he or she ever heard the phrase “Crime doesn’t’ pay?” And leaving it in an un-air-conditioned area? Um, I wouldn’t want to be in there with all of those drunken fruit flies.

Come on man! If you’re going to commit a crime, take a page out of the ghetto. Counterfeit DVD’s, CD’s, or just try getting an honest job. Don’t’ insult that most valued staple of summertime cookouts.

Read more Here: Is Your Ketchup Worth the Money? (It Might Not Be) From Yahoo’s Shine

The Butterfly

A man found the cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress.

It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no further. So the man decided to help the butterfly, and took a pair of scissors to snip off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly was then able to emerge easily. The problem then, that Butterfly had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that at any moment the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the cocoon’s restriction and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

The moral of this story? Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly.

VCU Honored for Excellence in Diversity

Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) recently was named a recipient of the 2012 Minority Access Role Models Award for its commitment to recruit, retain and advance students and employees from a diverse applicant pool. VCU is one of only 27 institutions nationally to achieve the designation.

 

Recipients were presented the award by Minority Access Inc. on Sept. 28 in Orlando at the 13th National Role Models Conference. Created out of a partnership between Minority Access Inc. and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and supported by the National Institutes of Health, the annual Role Models Conference focuses a national spotlight on institutions and individuals who have excelled in producing and supporting minority researchers, particularly in the biomedical sciences and health-related fields, and their research efforts.

 

“This award is the direct result of the leadership and work of many dedicated people at the university over the years,” said Wanda Mitchell, Ed.D., founding vice president of diversity and equity at VCU. “We want to build upon this great work to achieve greater outcomes and future successes.”

 

VCU’s student body is very diverse, composed of around 40 percent of underrepresented populations. The university houses a Division of Diversity and Equity, and has a five-year diversity plan in place, which highlights VCU’s mission to provide a fertile environment in which ideas and skills can be cultivated for a future and world that respects natural diversity.

 

VCU was recently recognized by The Education Trust as one of the nation’s top colleges and universities for boosting graduation rates and closing the graduation rate gap for both black and Hispanic students.

 

Minority Access Inc. is a nonprofit educational organization that assists individuals, academic institutions, federal, state and local government agencies, and various corporations in diversifying campuses and work sites by improving the recruitment, retention and enhancement of minorities. It also provides technical assistance to minorities and minority-serving institutions in order to improve the higher educational, professional and managerial employment of minorities.

 

Congratulations VCU, you make me proud to call myself an alum and a Ram. 

Air Canada Pilot To Passengers: Just Gonna Bring The Plane Down Low So We Can Look For A Missing Yacht

This is so cool! Just think about it. A pilot performing search and rescue with a freeking commercial airplane. Granted, I feel bad for the guy who was lost at sea, but I would have loved to be on the plane and hearing something like this:

Hey folks, I know we’re late and all, but we’ve received noticed of a guy lost at sea. If y’all don’t’ mind, we’re going to buzz the ocean and see if we can find that poor bastard.
Attention passengers, I found the boat. Um, is that his head? Oh crap. Can we get cellphone service up here? Dammit! Where’s a ham radio operator when you need one?
Ok passengers, we’ve reported his location. I now return you to your regularly scheduled late flight and thanks for flying the lifesaving Air Canada.

So awesome!

Air Canada Pilot To Passengers: Just Gonna Bring The Plane Down Low So We Can Look For A Missing Yacht