Three Bulls

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I am not’ giving’ him any of mine.”

The second bull says, “That pretty much says it for me too. I have been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we have agreed are mine. I’ll fight him till I run him off or kill him, but I’M KEEPING’ ALL MY COWS.”

The third bull says, “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to “take care of”. I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows.”

They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulled up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.

The first bull says, “Ahem…You know, it’s actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”

The second bull says, “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”

They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.

The first bull says, “Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and you might live to tell about it.”

The third bull says, “Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’M a bull!”

An RVAMaverick creation.

The Orphanage

It would be the concert of the decade. And for such a worthy cause. The orphanage where several of the greatest of the rock stars had been raised had deteriorated to such an extreme, that it was about to be condemned and the residents scattered to other institutions around the country.

Elton John had decided he would not allow that to happen and had obtained promises from his friends, some of the greatest names in the industry, to agree to participate.

The concert would be held on the grounds of the orphanage. Enough funds would be raised to totally refurnish the institution. But the grounds where the concert would be held was in as bad a disarray as the building itself. Paint was pealing off the outer walls of the building. The grass was eight inches high. The rose gardens were primarily weeds, the swimming pool was covered with a lichen-like plant, and the walks were cracked.

The group agreed that they would not only participate in the concert, but that each of the rock stars would do his part to rejuvenate the grounds. They would do it all themselves without outside help.

And if you had visited the orphanage on that week before the concert, you would have seen an amazing sight. Paul McCartney and Sting painting the building, David Lee Roth cutting the lawn, David Bowie and Roger Daltry pulling out weeds, Bruce Springstein and David Crosby repaving the walks.

As the day of the concert approached, the participants took a tour around the grounds. Everything looked great. Until they reached the swimming pool which was still covered with the thick green growth. John checked his roster
to see who was supposed to clean the pool, and found him sitting at the side of the pool staring out into space.

It was Mick Jagger, and he had not done the job he had been assigned. John approached Jagger to ask what had happened, and received the solemn answer almost in tears.

“You should have known, I couldn’t do it,” Mick replied, “A Rolling Stone gathers no moss.”

An RVAMaverick creation.